Peeroj Atya

Unusual name for a Maharashtrian girl. She got her name thanks to her Aapa Mama, her maternal Uncle, inspired from the Nehru family as he was a freedom fighter and worked closely with the family. Peeroj Atya (Father’s sister) moved on, its not even a week. Our family times together flash like a movie since then in my mind.

A stricture to rules and discipline she was a Teacher and that explains her high octave since she had to make her voice heard right till the last bench. Truth be told as a child I was scared of her. Wouldn’t stay around her vicinity but observe her from far. Always well dressed she loved her sarees, bangles, necklaces, gajras and venis. Always admired her thick long black hair which she oiled well and tied into a plaid every single time. One trait of hers which I respected a lot was she would ensure that the elders, even siblings were addressed with due respect like, tai, dada, vahini. Though she is elder to my Mother she addressed my Mother as Vahini though my Mother was younger to her, only because she is her elder brother’s wife. She was highly opinionated though and made her voice heard which made her a little unpopular, even within her close circle.

Second sister of the four, all the sisters had an unique trait…they all stuck together like a pack of cards and looked after each others’ back, though they had huge difference of opinions. Another common trait is that they have highest regard for my Father, their Bhai (one of the names for an elder brother) and doted on him. This bond brought our families together and we were blessed to have experienced the love and caring of all the sisters which they showered on our family. I experienced what a deep bond felt like only because of my atyas.

Peeroj atya loved to give gifts. Every time she was expected at my paternal grandmothers’ house rest assured we would get a gift. She did not show her affection through action but always mentioned niceties of people to other people. And we got to know about it from the other people. I remember a cousin of my mentioning to me that Peeroj atya was praising me as the best daughter one can have for the way I had taken care of my Father and am taking care of my Mother. She never mentioned this to me ever. But in the last decade she had mellowed down and we would have conversations. She had a unique quality…she would always mention the good qualities of people to others. She loved to tell stories of their childhood. She had fond memories of Baba and how he had stood by her through her tough times. Baba was her go to person and she idolized him. She always said that the sisters were blessed to have a brother like my Father who was almost like a Father to them.

She loved to solve puzzles like my Father. She sang well. She had also tried a stint at the All India Radio. She loved to cook and feed. Our family would often visit them for lunch and I remember the fish curry and fruit salad. Needless to say we would carry gifts home.

Atya would always be remembered fondly by me. The trueness and genuineness of her affection was endearing. Though she had a tough life, tragedy of losing a son aged 50 years, she never spoke about it. I have learnt a lot from her strength and independence.

She is now with her loved ones – her Son, her Brother and her elder Sister…

Rest in peace Atya…

Yoga School for Senior Citizens

So, finally after thirty three years at work I get some free time to do what I love to do and what I had always planned to do and that is join a Yoga course to not only learn Asanas but to learn the other aspects of Yoga and make it a way of life! I am doing an one year Diploma in Yoga course from a reputed institution in Thane.

Three months into the course and I have not felt so good physically, emotionally and spiritually in a decade. I already feel ten years younger, energetic and happier. It has given me a fresh perspective to life. A wholesome course which aims at making Yoga a way of life. It aims at personality development.

That got me thinking…what if Yoga is made compulsory to all Senior Citizens beyond sixty years? So we pack children off to kinder garden, schools when they do not understand what exactly is a school. They just go because they are sent, they do not have a choice and they have fun. And importantly due to a joint process there is a sense of community.

As a similar model, at sixty years of age Seniors are relatively free and can take up Yoga as a way of life. Joining a Yoga school would enrich ones life. The challenge faced post retirement would to a large extent be nullified due to the engagement in learning a new skill.

My story so far has merit in the above statements made. I am learning a new skill, my challenges have been taken head on and sorted one by one. I am in better space physically and mentally. I am part of a community, have met new people, doing activities together has brought a sense of belonging which seems to diminish post retirement. I wake up early with a purpose hence my day is filled with activity as against lethargy. There are only merits.

As we all are aware, Seniors have a lot of adjustments to do…physically as well as mentally. Everything changes at a existential level. Though you have free time, lots of energy but nothing to do. Being in the house more, one is lost for filling in hours. You learn to pick up a relaxed pace which quickly converts to lethargy. Once lethargy sets in it is difficult to be convinced otherwise. Mentally one starts searching for things to do which would challenge your mind but there is not much that can be done. So the dilemma brings you to a point where you accept the lethargy as a way of life and that is where the health issues, mentally as well as physically, set in.

And all these challenges can be addressed by joining a Yoga school.

I am making a suggestion at the governing level where Heads of States or even at a community level, should consider incorporating Yoga as a curriculum for the elderly. Send them to Yoga school compulsorily. That would address the issue of loneliness, abandonment, inactivity and many more which every elderly go through and leads to psychosomatic diseases.

I cannot stress enough the relevance of getting into a Yogic lifestyle at this juncture of life, especially with my positive and encouraging experience.

If one has liked the idea and find merit in it one can consider taking it up with respective Heads of States or even at a community level.

Many Masks

You wear many masks to ‘appear’ in the day to deal with people you meet and circumstances. A way that you want the others to see you as.

Life is all about replacing masks with élan right from a young age. I remember the time when my Mother said, “Don’t open your mouth in front of Aunt”…you had to put on a mask of being a ‘quiet child’. Or when she said, “Finish off everything in the plate like a good girl”…when visiting a family friend’s house, when actually I found the food spicy. I had to put on a mask of being an obedient, good girl. I was not either.

You step out of the house, there are innumerable masks that you change in matter of seconds…as the need be. Many a times it is puzzling to me, who am I actually? The person at home, or at work, or with friends, or a little of all.

And then comes a person with whom you can let down your masks. You can be yourself. The ease with which one can interact, find oneself, enjoy the company, find peace, find your purpose….

After a time in age one is fed up of putting on false masks. That is when you really know who stays and who goes. Or worse still one becomes an introvert. Liking ones company where you can be yourself, non judgmental, non opiniated. The world suddenly becomes a lovely space to be in.

Have you experienced this duality and how did you cope?

Nature Trail

Doused in the morning sun there is this beautiful piece of land, lush in greenery in Kasarvadavli, Thane. Though a TMC owned land, they have a garden and are kind to allow a small piece of land to be used by the volunteers of the Hariyali NGO. It is a place maintained by the TMC, a beautiful well maintained garden and this stretch of land. Ideal for a stroll or even doing yogasanas or pranayam. I walked into the garden conscious of leaving the pollution behind and entering a oxygen-only zone. At that time in the morning at around 8 am it was covered with the morning sun and a slight chill in the air. Trees, plants, shrubs, the ground covered with lush green grass…it was a sight to relish. A small get-away from the city buzz, right in the city. Took a deep breath and filled my lungs with pure air.

Hariyali is a NGO working in the field of protection and upgradation of environmental conditions, having its base in Thane. It is 25 years old and has volunteers who are passionate about preserving and serving nature. They undertake weekend activities of seed collection, segregation, planting the seeds, and then planting the saplings in various locations like Dighe, Munda. The NGO also offer these activities to schools and corporates.

With the climate changes and more and more emphasis on preserving forests, I decided to join them and do my bit. I hope to plant trees which would be of use for generations to come. It is an ideal opportunity for all of us to take this idea of collection of seeds and planting them, forward. I was looking for an outfit doing work in the nature and I couldn’t have asked for more, right here in Thane.

I think it is time all of us do our bit, join such outfits and plant as many trees as possible for a healthy tomorrow!

Mothi Atya

My Aunt, all of 4′11, my late Baba’s (Father) soul sister and my Aai’s (Mother) best friend, passed away last week. We called her Mothi (elder) Atya (Father’s sister). She could easily get lost in a crowd but stood out because of her positive impact on people. She had this knack of holding people together, of reaching out to each with most respect and genuine concern. She was that one person whom everyone in the community looked up to. She was the go to person for all and took her responsibilities very seriously.

Atya had a special bond with my Baba. They were only a year apart hence were close to each other. There bond is unique, special, different from the other siblings. Baba’s face would light up every time Atya would call. She stayed in the same city like us hence either they would visit us or we would visit them. My childhood memories are full of Atya’s cooking and a regular desert of fruit salad with custard. I would help her cut the fruits. She would be almost ready with the food when we would reach which would be around 11 am…she would say only fish is to be fried. Very thoughtful and efficient. Atya revelled in hosting meals, cooking and feeding people.

An eternal learner she would be interested in anything new that Aai would be making and like school girls they would laugh and enjoy each others company. She rejoiced in knitting and crochet. Would make stuff for all and sundry. She has to only know that someone is born somewhere and she would make stuff and send it off. She with her friend would go off to various exhibitions to check on anything new. She would make and get it the next time for all of us. She loved to do things for others.

Like Baba she would never talk about her woes, only talk about good experiences. Always smiling, though would reprimand us if we did not fall in line. We were all scared of her as well.

After she moved to another city, our families met less. But she or Baba would call each other and keep in touch. Baba missed her profusely but rarely made it apparent. As age passed it became more obvious that meeting each other would be a challenge but she visited as and when she could…even at the age of 90, though Baba had passed away, she visited us and spent time with Aai who is ailing. This despite having both knee replacement surgery, which did not go well as expected and would trouble her every now and then. The will to meet people made her get out of her house even at this age.

She loved music especially singing. All her sisiters sang except her, she loved to listen. She encouraged me when I started to learn classical music and would wait eagerly to hear songs that I would record for her. She told me not to stop learning and I will always keep that advice close to my heart. She was concerned about my health. When asked about hers she would respond, “Majhe rahu de, tu kashi ahes (Let my health be, how are you?)”. She never complained about her health to any one nor any one came to know if she had any pains or aches…because she never spoke about them. Similar to Baba. In many ways they were similar and after Baba passed away, every time I spoke to Atya it would remind me of him. Everytime we met she would hug me and that is the most secure hug I ever had. She had a bagful of solutions with household remedies. She was my go to person when unwell. Even her soothing voice would give relief such was her presence in my life.

As I write, my entire life, with Atya in it, in various stages flashed in my mind like a reel…

I will miss Atya for her uniqueness, genuiness and smile, everytime she would see me. By and by, as elders pass away, unconditional loving people get lesser and lesser, leaving a huge void. And the realization comes late.

I love you Atya and have the highest respect for you. You are with your favourite brother and that is a solace because Baba is also with his favourite sister.

Letter to Mr Satya Nadella, Chairman and CEO – Microsoft

Dear Sir,

A thought has been increasingly making a home in my head which I would like to share with you.

The Indian family structure is familiar to you. We work as a unit, till the end. In the best of times we celebrate together, in the worst of situations we are there to support each other. Thats why probably God made a “family” unit. We as a family have a bigger responsibility towards our selves and our unit. We do not take the role lightly.

Now lets apply a similar model to the Corporate structure. I will mention the name of one such Corporate, in India, which has applied most of the family structure responsibilities to its Corporate culture, at the end of the letter, not now, to maintain the continuity of the matter. What happens when there is an unfortunate stop to a source of income in a family? Every family member downsizes their needs and contributes as much as possible to keep the show running. THEY DO NOT THROW THE PERSON OUT OF THE FAMILY UNIT because there is an unforeseen circumstance.

I think by now you must have got the gist of the matter. Yes I am addressing the issue of job cuts in Microsoft which is making headlines today. ‘Hard choices’ you say. The moment you mention ‘choice’, ‘cutting jobs’ has got precedence over something else.

Consider this,

1. Can the employees, all employees, take a pay cut to sustain the current strength? Can the rest of the employees contribute towards this unforeseen circumstance?
2. Can you take no salary till the time the Company tides over this circumstance? I think your sustaining power is much more than the ones who have been laid off.
3. Can the Management take no salary till the time the Company tides over this circumstance? They too have a sustaining power.

If there are “10,000” employees who are not going to take any salary home till God knows how long, the above mentioned options could surely be adapted to ensure you live out your responsibility as a family unit. Unless you do not consider it your responsibility to ensure every employee is taken care of even if there are hardships.

It would be a paradigm shift in the Corporate world. It would certainly set an example of how a Company looks after, not just its margins (and does everything possible to ensure the margins are inline with the budgeted figure) but also the monetary health of an employee, consequently the family health as well.

You may wonder why have I picked you and not the others for sending this thought. The answer is they would not understand the Indian family structure hence not appreciate its value, as you would being an Indian.

It is expected that the employee works as if it is her/ his Company, then the Company too needs to deliver accordingly not just monetarily!

The Company which follows the family culture is HDFC Ltd. (Housing Development Finance Corporation Limited), an Indian Company spearheaded by Mr Deepak Parekh.

I urge you to explore the possibility of bringing about a change which would set an example and a precedent. Its time to bring about change which considers employees as its responsibility, not just a resource!

Thank you for your time!

New Year Resolutions!

I know I know it is more of a myth…however I found merit in even just jotting the resolutions. Just making a list put things into perspective hence would say it does have its merits, even though one doesn’t take it till its fag end or worse still that it is forgotten the next day!

I chose two topics, Riyaz and Reading Books (hard copy). This is something that I started midway last year…to explore whether the basics has merit or the technological advanced option of the same. To explain, whether a hard copy or a Kindle version? So have concluded that I would like to go ahead with reading books, the hard copy version and do riyaz the old way ie. supported by a tanpura and not a droid (the online version).

Both, the riyaz and books, had taken a back seat…it is now time to give it its rightful space in my life. It has started off well so far and already can see huge benefits. Discipline and purpose sets in leading to a constructive day. You do not have to think much of what next, it is there to happen. Things happen organically rather than made to happen. Thats the thing, you have to “do” to actually experience. There is huge material on what to do, how to do, when to do…the point remains, unless you do it one doesn’t know what fits best for oneself.

Raag Yaman it is for the last couple of months. Everyday riyaz brings a freshness into ones voice. Identifying the place of swars in your vocals improves. One starts befriending the swars. They intimidate you lesser. So far so good…

Books were always for me a window to the world…I had stopped looking out through that window. Now have started again. Having an outside view is like having a one sided conversation with the outside. New thoughts, fresh perspectives, new cultures, new words, new expressions…keeps you engaged with the plot.

I follow @storytellersavi on instagram and she is responsible for my picking up books again. Have aimed at three books in a month and lets see how it goes.

These are a few of my thoughts on resolutions, riyaz and reading again. What are yours?

Take a breather

Dear Stranger,

Hi, hope this letter finds you in the best of health.

Health, you see, is THE single most important aspect of life that one needs to tend early on. Alas, I learned this lesson quite late. I had a health scare which was a wakeup call to put things into perspective and immediate action.

You see we run…and we run, we feel even pausing, let alone stopping, is a waste of time. Or rather, the pseudo societal pressure to perform has become such that you start believing that ‘achievement’ is everything, in anything that you do. That you have to ‘strive’. And so the brain just strives. Consequently things to be done at the right time, never get done. Hence a bucket list is prepared, which keeps increasing every year without any tick offs.

Sigh…life is led. We have stopped living, don’t you think? I hadn’t smelled the flowers in a long time, or seen a sunset. Hadn’t felt the grass under my feet or heard sweet song of a bird telling me, “life is beautiful…do live.”

Now, I have learned it is ok not to ‘strive’, it is ok not to ‘achieve’…every single time. The journey is to somewhere or anywhere; it is ok not to know where or have a map, but being mindful of the journey is important. To smell the grass on the way is important. To listen to songs of birds is important. It is ok to ‘pause’. I learned this lesson late…but I learned.

So now the need to be on the top of everything does not exist. I have learned to enjoy every moment and celebrate life on the way.

Hope you learn from this lesson to tend to your health from the beginning…

Until the next lesson, bye from my desk.

Take care,

Megha

Karma pays,

A lesson I have learned is whilst one is busy living…one must always remember that Karma is watching your back…what you sow you reap, what goes around comes around, what you give you get. This is 100% true and no one is spared.

Unless one experiences the pain one never understands the damage one has caused. Karma takes care of it, rest assured. When a bad thing happens to me and I want to let it out in disgust or anger I remind myself never mind Karma will take care of it. Don’t waste your time.

Karma has taught me lessons, and has assured that haved learned it. Today I have learned to appreciate my Mother much more, as now due to Covid 19 I have to do all the household chores, run errands…singlehandedly along with Office-work from home. I am drained till the end of the day. I wake up the next day to do the same things all over again, not knowing when this will end.

I have come to empathise with my Mother who worked similarly for long hours day after day, month after month, year after year…silently. Karma assured I have learned my lesson good.

You do not have to believe me on how Karma works, try it for yourself. Tell you what…one morning decide to do only good. Register one good deed in your mind’s book and forget about it. When an unexpected good happens to you try to link it with the good deed done by you and you will discover the power of a smile for a smile.

Life has a way of giving back in loads…whether you do good or bad. So beware when you do bad and when someone does bad to you forget about it…Karma will take the revenge. Trust me.

Keep spreading cheer and cheer’s’ will come back to you.

Meditation a magic potion

Its been a year now since I have been meditating. Rewards have been innumerable and am still counting. I added meditation in my daily routine courtesy my Yogini and now a friend and my bouncing board – Juhi. It is one of the countless blessings shared by her. Almost immediately I was hooked onto it. Challenge was to be still with the aches and pains. Soon I found a way, because even few minutes of stillness had a calming affect and I wanted more of it. I would get off the position the moment I felt discomfort…slowly getting off reduced as my body got accustomed to the position. Though Juhi shared with me various ways of meditating to make it more effective…I would try and always go back to my conventional way of meditating that is to sit still in sukhasan from wherever that you are without any props or preparatory exercises. I found my niche. Soon I could sit for longer periods of time without sensing the pain. I could slip into meditation quite quickly. In this state I am only aware of the breath, no sounds, no feeling of any pain. I have not reached the meditative state yet, I am getting there though. However even this state of stillness reaps innumerable benefits, I intend to share a few,

Almost immediately night meditation had an impact on my sleep. I slept deeper and immediately. Most amazing impact was on my waking up without an alarm clock absolutely fresh. I see an improvement in my breathing…its now deep and suttle as against irregular and superficial. I now can control my emotions better – anger, frustration, restlessness, impatience, are to a large extent things of the past. This in turn has calmed me improving my breathing.

If any part of my body is paining or stiff, post meditation I am completely relieved of the pain. It has also reduced inflammation in my joints increasing my flexibility.

At the emotional level, I am much calmer with a detached way of looking at things which in turn allows me to rationalise better with situations and people, allowing better decisions.

Meditation in the early hours and just before sleeping, both have their benefits. Night meditation has an unwinding effect, calming and helping with a deeper sleep. Early morning meditation gets you to start the day with a clear state of mind, unhurried, which sets a pace for the day. Issues can be handled rationally without getting overtly emotional.

All this and its only a year since I started meditating regularly! I have listed only those which have brought about a significant impact in my life.

So when are you giving yourself the gift of meditation, a magic potion to keep the Doctor away!!